Symptoms of childhood stress can include headaches, stomach aches, teeth grinding, aggression and irritability, being sad or withdrawn.
Change is a key indicator: if your child changes in a substantial way, including developing a new habit or behavior, it can be an indication of stress.
If your young child is exhibiting signs of stress, talk to your child. Do not interrogate him or her, but ask open-ended questions about broad topics. Cuddling is particularly helpful. Provide lots of outside time – studies show that nature is a calming influence. Creative activities which promote a child’s self-expression can also relieve stress. Model good eating, sleeping and exercise habits. Be an example of how to find the good in any situation, and allow yourself to fail and move on, so that your child understands that everybody makes mistakes. Make sure your child has unstructured time built into her schedule. Kids need time to just be kids.
Your school can be a partner in helping with a stressed child. Communicate with your school about any stressful situations that are occurring at home.
If your child’s stress is not relieved by these suggestions, and the stress is impacting the child’s social or school life, it is time to contact your pediatrician and/or the school counselors to consider other professional options.
Olympic gold medal swimmer Michael Phelps was recently photographed smoking marijuana. Do you have any advice on talking to kids about role models who behave badly?
Remind your kids that everybody makes mistakes. Phelps himself said, “I . . . demonstrated bad judgment. Despite the successes I've had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again." He is a phenomenal athlete with strong family values. He worked hard work, set goals and made extreme sacrifices to achieve his success. These are traits that you should talk about with your children.
Also remind them that marijuana is illegal. If Phelps is prosecuted, the offense is punishable by up to 30 days in jail or a $750 fine, plus court costs. Phelps will likely pay dearly for this offense, likely losing endorsements and maybe even his hard-earned gold medals. While your children may not lose Olympic medals for similar behavior, they should know that they might be expelled from school if a friend’s cell phone camera catches them engaging in illegal behavior. When you behave badly, you pay a price.
The bottom line: just because a role model behaves badly doesn’t make the behavior justifiable or worthy of emulation. The real judge of a person’s character is how s/he behaves when s/he thinks no one is looking. That applies to famous athletes and your kids.
