Based on playground, carpool, and coffee house chatter, one could easily assert that the proximity of independent school admission decisions and the anxiety level of applicant parents are closely correlated.
It’s no wonder when one considers the competitive and high achieving metropolitan community in which we live. Yet because that same community provides us with such a rich array of independent school choices, each with different purpose, culture, or personality, it is curious. Whether you, as parents, are awaiting acceptance letters, or thinking about the next admission cycle, chances are, you’ll find the right match for your child.
Why? Because you know your child better and more intimately than anyone else. And an honest assessment of your child, along with an accurate profile of the unique strengths of specific schools, can lead you to develop a sound formula to evaluate your choices. It will also help admission officers better visualize how the features of their respective schools support the needs and interests of your child to help him or her be successful.
Of course, an honest assessment of your child isn’t always easy. As a parent myself, I know it can be difficult to put aside our own experiences, perceptions, and baggage. But if you listen carefully, your child, even in his or her elementary years, will guide you in creating an accurate logic tree of capabilities, interests, preferences, strengths, and weaknesses as they relate to academics, social intelligence, and interests and avocations. Then, since it’s likely that a school can’t be all things to your child, you can assign priorities within that logic tree to determine the most important thing you want a school to do for your son or daughter.
For some students, programs built around specific interests such as sports, performing arts, or fine or graphic arts are the most important factors in selecting the right school. More typically, however, the answer lies within academic or social programs.
To assess how well a school can help your child perform academically, you first need to examine how your child acquires and demonstrates learning. Then evaluate how the teaching strategy and methodology of a specific school will complement and support this learning style or preference. Is your child an auditory or visual learner? Ask your child some of these questions to better understand how he or she learns: Do you prefer getting information from lectures or videos? How do you like to demonstrate what you’ve learned (e.g., essays, presentations, performances, 3-D models)?
Simply asking children what grade they liked best can reveal a lot about how they learn. For example, a sixth grader who picks second grade as a favorite might be telling you that he or she prefers more visually based instruction and struggles with heightened expectations about interpreting literature and writing essays. By ninth grade, many schools expect students to learn well as auditory/verbal learners and thus most information is presented in a lecture/discussion format. If your child’s progress starts to slip at this point, you might need to look for a high school that has a more balanced instructional approach that includes visually based information and assessment. Find out how material is presented in the classroom and what kind of experiential learning opportunities are provided, both on and off campus.
Of course, ongoing academic success requires that students have mastered specific organizational skills or are appropriately supported by the school. Changes in progress or confidence in seventh grade might indicate a need for organizational support. Is your child able to organize materials, find books, turn papers in on time, or complete both short and long term projects? What supports are in place at home and what do you need a school to provide? If you look to a school for organizational or executive functioning support, ask an admissions officer, learning specialist, and teachers the specifics about the school’s program. What role do advisors play? Are executive functioning skills taught during the day? In what ways can students gain access to a teacher for assistance? Is technology embedded in the program? Is the amount of homework consistent with your philosophy, can your child handle it, and what support does the school offer?
You’ll also want to decide how important the school’s culture is in your formula for school selection. Some students may be most comfortable in a small school with a clearly defined “typical” student; others in a large school with students representing a wide gamut of talents and interests; still others may be comfortable in almost any setting. Where is it OK for your child to be who he or she is? What kind of environment can satisfy most of your child’s needs? Again, your child can guide you in answering these questions. Look at how your child draws energy. Is he or she an introvert or extrovert; a follower or a leader; prefer the sidelines or centerfield; does he or she need a lot of choice and activity? Then ask how a school judges, values, and supports different types of students.
Talk to current parents and students. Listen to conversations in the hallways between students and between students and teachers to learn more about the type of relationships that are built within the school. Talk to the guidance counselor about the importance the school places on social development and teambuilding and find out if there is a social curriculum embedded in the program. How is discipline handled and what does that mean to the range of behavior your child will be exposed to? How is personal accountability and responsibility taught?
The answers to these questions and more, based on an honest assessment of your child, will help you sort through the wonderful array of independent school choices available in the DC metro area. If your child receives multiple acceptances, be honest about what is best for him or her. If you think it’s a good match, then be confident that you’re giving your child the best opportunity. And remember, no decision is forever; what your child needs from a school may change over time. Just be sure to listen, your child will let you know.
